Summer love stories- yeah right.

I used a last resort and googled blog ideas. Number 25 on the list was books I want to write. It was the only one that wasn't super lame.

I have always wanted to be an author but I never have the time. In the summer I will start, but they never get more then a sentance. My ideas usually start when I read books. I usually read summer love books. Hailey Abbott is my favorite author, but Sarah Dessen is good too.

Most of the stories are the same. It starts with a girl at the begining of summer and as the summer goes on there is friendship love, usually two guys- the hott player and the cute friend, and a self discovery of some sort. They all end with resolving the frienship drama, falls in love with the cute guy friend who is in love with her, and find some magical life lesson. In real life- that rarely happens.

In real life you start off the summer planning to hang out with your best friends all summer. As it goes through you don't actually hang out with them as much. It is full of failed plans. There are boys, but usually when the girl screws over the guy in some way she doesn't actually get him back. The cute guy friend finds himself falling in love with your best friend, and then you regret letting him go. There is drama galore. At the end of the summer the only thing you have learned is how to regret. There are rare self discoveries and happy endings.

Only two summers of my life have been anything but that. My summer in 2007 was really close to what I described, but it ended completely diffrent becuase I ended up in a new town alone, uncontrolably. Last summer, 2009 was diffrent because it was a self discovery. My 10th grade school year was the most drama filled year of my life, though I'm finding my 11th grade to be very close.

I hung out with my best friends like 3 times because they all hung out with their stupid boyfriends. Litterally I was ditched. On of my other best friends would have bonfires with all my friends except me because I didn't have a boyfriend. Of course that isn't the reason, as she tells me, but I know it is. Noone likes a 3rd, or in this case like 6th, wheel.

My self discovery was learning how to be less self conscious. My self esteem is still pretty low, I just stopped caring. I lost 12 pounds and learned how to be healthy. I learned that girls in love will always chose love over friends. And I learned that you should never actually count on someone for following through. I hung out with Taylor and Brittany two of my BEST friends all summer. They never cancelled plans. They didn't have boyfriends that they obviously cared about more then anyone else.

I know It sounds negative. But in the end, that was one of the best summers I have ever had. I met my cousins for the first time in 10 years, some of them for the first time ever. I went across the country in 110 degree weather and I loved it. I lost 12 pounds! I realized who my true friends were and are. I learned to not care what people think, becuase in the end, its me. I am the one keeping and losing friends. I am the one who sees myself as me more then anyone else. It doesn't matter anymore. I can honestly say I don't care.