The art of art.

I don't really know why I am blogging about art, but I am. It is just something thats on my mind enough that I can write a blog about. I think I am addicted to colors, especially bright colors. I love to color pictures and be creative. It is just so fun:)

For my birthday my friend Nicole gave me a coloring book with Dinosaurs in it. I have a lot of the coloring pages on my wall because I love dinosaurs. They dinosaurs are all colorful and have backgrounds that have nothing to do with real life. It is funny. I think that is why i love coloring books. You can just take a boring picture and make it come to life however you want to. I remember one time in kindergarten we were learning our letters and we were on letter E. For our assignment we had to color a picture of an elephant. While everyone else colored their stupid elephants boring grey, I colored mine pink with green polkadots. I failed the assignment, but I had the coolest elephant.

Painting my room was super fun. Not only did it bring me and my best friend to our best friend status, it was fun painting! I made her color the outsides at first because shes a perfectionist and i thought she would do a very neat job, however i was wrong. I have a lot of dark blue lines on the top of my cealing due to her clumsyness. It is okay though. For the next two walls I painted the outside and she painted all the inside. It was super fun painting. This summer I hope we will paint more fun things:)

My brother has incredable art talent. We have some of his paintings on our wall at home. They are so good its not even funny. I have the music, Isabel has the brains, and Daniel definately has the art talent. His color choices and designes are really good. My sister has started to show some creative talent. She painted a picture of Michelle Obama that was pink and green and each square had its own design and pattern. I dont really know how to explain it, its just really cool.

So at the end of the day, through everything, I am pretty sure that I am addicted to colors.

I want to go to SPAINN!!!!

Today I went to a meeting about going to Spain in the summer after my senior year. I really want to go. Yeah it costs a lot of money but I honestly think it would be worth it. I really love spanish and want to pursue it in college. I feel like I need to go.

It costs a lot but I feel like I'd be able to make it less. There is fundraising and I do have a job, and my grandparents love me. I think all of that togehter that it would cover it all. Unfortunately on top of the 4000 ishh dollars there is about 400 dollars worth of spending money. It is a lot of moneyy ahhhh. Also spring break of my senior year my choir group is going to Florida and that sounds like a lot of fun. So I would have to choose between the two, but I feel like Spain would be more worth while.


I love the spanish language. I feel like I am doing something diffrent when I speak to people in spanish. At my work there was a family who came in speaking in spanish and I understood them. I felt special!

But Mr. Kollash showed us pictures of all the places we'd be going to. They are all so pretty! I want to go there sometime in my life. Either I go now or I go in college. If I like it, I'll find a way to go twice! I can't wait to go.

It is expensive, I get that. But I feel like in my oppinion it will be worth it. I will be going after my senior year so I will still have friends to go with and I won't be alone. I think in the end it will be something I would want my kids to do too. I will just ahve to wait and see!

I have no oven!

In the Neff house, about 90% of the food we eat consists of using the oven. French fries, popcorn chicken, my dadsss yummy pizza, taco shells, biscuts, muffins, brownies, bread, ahh all the good foods! It has been very hard on our eating situation. We have actually had to cook foods. We have had a lot of hamburgers and tacos with soft shells. Luckily it has been nice out so we have been able to barb a que(?) yummy hotdogs that I love.

It is one of those thigns that you dont realize how much you love it until it's gone. I hate browines (not with a passion) but right now I am craving brownies. It is quite depressing. I have had to resort my cooking to foods like "spaghetti" and "soup" umm eww. However my favorite foods such as mac and cheese and hotdogs don't require an oven. I can eat mac and cheese whenever I want.

My mom doesn't realize that our oven doesn't work. Our freezer is full of frozen pizzas, pop corn chicken, and french fries. Our cuppords are full of cake mixes, brownie mixes, and muffin mixes. I am not saying this is a bad thing, but it is strange. By the time my oven is working it will be summer and we cant even use the oven that much anyways. It is from 1956. It needs to be fixed. I NEED MY OVENNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to go to work!

This is the first day that I will be working after school. Not a big deal, but it is something new and exciting! lol. I am lucky that I dont have too much homework. I just have to catch up on a few blogs. Working so much kinda sucks, but I love how much money I'm going to get:)

I have always been the type that will ask for money and IOU people. But now that the money I'm spending is my hard working money, I dont want to waste it. I realize how much you have to do to get even like 20 bucks. I worked yesterday 8 hours, and then today thursday and friday 4 hours each time. That should be about 140 dollars. See, I get 7.25 an hour, but I also have taxes, so instead of doing all the math I just times my hours by 7. It seems to be a pretty close estimate.

The other good thing about working besides money, is that my job is only open until 8, so even if I work the "night shift" I'm still done by 8:30 at the latest and on weekdays still have time for homework, and on the weekends can still do something. It is a good thing.

Working eight hours at a time is super tiring. Especially that I dont have good shoes. Either they don't have arches, which hurts my back, or they are too tight along the heel and sides, which hurts my feet. Etiher way somethings hurting. I usually get tired by hour 5 so I am hoping that four hours tonight isnt' that hard. I am kind of exctied:)

I like working:) for now.

Drama's over!

I know blogs about drama are lame and make people laugh, but this isn't just a stupid boy drama girl drama filled story. This is real life. It has been hard for a while and i know that drama will find me again, but for now it is over and it is good.

My boy drama is over. I went from having no guys to like four guys and then its just been a roller coaster ride with all of them for a while. This last week as showed me that all of them are my freinds now and eventhough that's all we are, I am completely okay with that. I feel relaxed and now I don't feel trapped to some people, nor hopelessly devoted to others. It just works out all around.

My friend drama is finally over too! We have talked everything through and we discussed all of our issues with eachother and we are totally cool now. It is really exciting being able to go to school and talk to all of my friends. And haning out with all of them on the weekends. I am so happy.

When my life is drama free I focus more on school at home and in class. My mind doesn't wander. Also being in a good mood can keep me more awake. I have more energy and put it to good uses. Fights will happen, but it sucks when they are all at the same time. Now that, at least for now, I am fight and drama free:)

I can tell I'm getting old.

I am comming to an end of my junior year and it is starting to become clear to me that lifes about to change. I am about to start my last year of high school, start the last school year that I have been pondering about for about 12 years now. It is my last chance to do all the things I ever wanted to do in my school years. Its werid thinking my high school oppertunities are coming to an end.

I have done about everything that I have wanted to in highschool I played sports, did cheerleading, was in plays, be well known/ liked by others, get a 4.0 GPA, have a billion and a half friends, and get a boyfriend that wasn't just a "boyfriend". I am not disapointed in anything that has happened. However I dont' want to let my senior year be a disapointment.

I only have a summer job. I dont know what my job will be during next school year. I hope it is fun. Plus the job i have I will have school that will be important because i really want to get into iowa so i can stay with my bestfriend nicole. I hope next year I make moonlight the jazz choir and plays. So my schedual will be pretty busy.

Every school year has been getting shorter and shorter as each year goes on. Something tells me that next year will be the shortest year of them all. It will go quickly through august, september, october, november, december, january, feburary, march, april, and then may. Then boom. Its over. All highschool. Done. And then what? It's moving time to get out of my house and start life for myself on my own. I am excited, but scared at the same time.

I have one year left to be a kid. One year to do things to make myself not regret what I have left. Then I am going to be an adult. And that is proof that I'm growing up and getting old.

The top twenty songs of right now 2.

So I have tried blogging about other topics such as my license, friends, and boys, but music is whats numero uno in my head right now. I think compared to first and second term this term has been the most progressive with blogs so I deserve to have a little freedom with my music. Last time I made a top twenty list of songs right now I jsut put the list and that was that. This time I am going to talk about ones I really love.

1)Remember December- Demi Lavato
This is one of the songs that I would put under a "player" playlist of songs. It just really speaks to me and gets me through a lot.
2)Feeling This- Blink 182
I love Blink182 are you kidding me?
3)Tonight Tonight- Smashing Pumpkins
I have had this on repeat for about an hour and half now. Ironically my other favorite Smashing Pumpkins song is called Today......
4)Fireflies- Owl City
Um who doesn't love this song?
5)Cave In- Owl City
It has been stuck in my head all day. I usually love the first song on a CD and this definately proved that point. It is so catchy and loveful.
6)First Date- Blink 182
This is one of my all time favorites. It is SO cute. I just love how much he likes her in the song. Plus it brings back good memories:)
7)The style (or somethng)- nevershoutnever
I don't honestly know why I like this song. It is just fun to sing:)
8)Ocean Avenue- Yellowcard
This has been one of my favorites since like forever ago. I am always in the mood to listen to it which just makes it awesome.
9)Thunder- Boys like Girls
SO CUTEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10)The Rock Show- Blink182
This song is also adorable! I love blink182 and this song is about a guy falling for a girl who was n't interested in him at first but they fell in love. It is SO cute!
11)Vanilla Twilight- Owl City
This song has my favorite line in a song ever: "then I look at my hands and feel sad, cuz the spaces between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly" AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
12)Savior- Rise Against
I have mixed feelings about this song. I loved it SO! much but so did a guy that I just had a thing with so it was our song even though while we had a thing it didn't reflect us at all, in fact its not a love song, not really, but now it does kind of reflect us. It is hard having a song you loved so much bring back memories that could also bring back tears.
13)Hummingbird- nevershoutnever
I dont know if it is the words, the voice, the feeling I get from listening to it, or D all of the above, but this song is so happy to listen too!
14)Fingerprints- Katy Perry
This song is really catchy also. I love Katy Perry. So much! I love her style! Did you know she had a cat named Kitty Purry? So creative.
15)About you now- Miranda Cosgrove
16)Stay my baby- Miranda Cosgrove
Both of the Miranda Cosgrove songs bring back memories of last summer. It is really exciting becasue it is almost summer and I love it. Plus theese songs are really fun to sing and listen too!
17)You and Me together- Hannah Montana
This is me and my best freinds song. No it doesn't mean together as in together together. It means it as friends. And that is why its ours:)
18)The Winner takes it all- ABBA
Again, sorry about this, but the boy drama that has affected my life so much lately makes this song great. If you read my one post you'd know all about it. But the other boy involved kind of just left me hanging. No real its over, but obviously not going to happen.. but not obvious! So why I heard this song I was really happy to know there was one out there to know that someone else has felt my pain(a.k.a. the composer)
19)The hand song- nickel creek
This has been my favorite song since like third grade. I can sing it better then I can a lot of songs. I REALLY want to learn it on the guitar but it is so hard to do!
20)Rockstar- Hannah Montana
This is the song I dedicate to my emo. I sadly found out he has a girlfriend today, but I think he is beautiful anyways.

Cover for The Smashing Pumpkins:)

Anti summer love stories; pro love songs♥

Even though I think books about love are completely bogus, songs aren't. Every girl wants a guy to write them a song, or at least find the perfect song to make theirs. Even the toughest of girls love having a song dedicated to them by their boyfriend, crush, or someone who really likes yuo but you just dnot quite feel the same way. It is great having the song randomly come on the radio and you think of them anad sing along. And if your with them making the moment, any moment, even sweeter.

The ONLY problem with having songs with guys is that it will make you think of him EVERY time you hear it. I have a problem of having songs that I love/ are really popular on the radio, with guys that end bad. One of the last guys I had a thing with and my song was Savior by Rise Against. Ironically, the words didn't go with us at all at the time, and now the words describe us perfectly. It was one of my favorite songs (if you recall my top 20 fav songs of right now) and it was his favorite band. He doesn't listen to it anymore and that song is ALWAYS on the radio now. Of couse we had other cute songs like Falling for you by Colbie Callet (or however you spell it) and songs like fireflies and tiktok that make me thing of him sometimes but weren't ours. The point is is that I will try to vow to never give guys songs that I love again. I will miss them too much. The songs of course.

I write songs. A lot of them aren't love songs, but the few love songs I have are really good. Tehy are just so touching. Some of them make me cry still when I play them. You know how people see the same thing completely differently? well thats how my songs are. They mean differently to different people. It is awesome. Music just makes people feel good. And songs are there for nostalgia. There are other things that make you think of guys like movies, where you first talked/ hung out, words, nicknames, etc. But songs, at least to me, bring back the most powerful memories. They set the mood of the situation. Music = love; memories of love = music. Its not complicated. Its love.

Great love songs♥:
*= was me and someone else's song.
Hummingbird: Nevershoutnever
Vanilla Twilight: Owl City
Most all Owl City songs
Can I have this dance?: HSM 3
First Date: Blink-182
*You and Me- Lifehouse
*Tim McGraw- Taylor Swift
*I'd Lie- Taylor Swift
Perfect enough for you- Miranda Neff
*One in a Million- Hannah Montana
When you say nothing at all- Alison Kraus
You and me together- Miley Cyrus
The Hand Song- Nickel Creek
I never wanna fall in love again- Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach (either one I think)
*Skyway Avenue- We the Kings
Check yes Juliet- We the Kings
*I love you- Martina McBride
Stick wit chu- Pussy Cat Dolls
*Walk Away- Paula DeAnda
*7 things- Miley Cyrus
and all the songs I have personally written aboutt guys I liked:)

I NEED SUMMER!!!

I can't wait until summer. It is honsetly tourture sitting in my room trying to do homework when It is nice outside. Then I have the play after school which is starting to go until 6 630 7 every night. It is sad sitting there but I guess I might have to wait until summer.

Then when I do get off play and it is sunny and nice out side I want to walk. I live right by noel ridge and I have a best friend who lives right next to me who also longs to walk. We will walk around the part trail a lot and laugh and talk to random people. By the time I get home I have to eat and shower and that usually takes me until about 8 830 ish. It is a delima. And because it is after a long day at school and a long walk all I feel like doing is sleeping.

I literally have to force myself to do my homework. Last term I got a 4.0 GPA but this term I already have a 3.7 but it is hard to get grades up. It sucks! I blame the hot weather! But at the same time I know it is my fault. I will have to try to stop procrastinating.

I have my licencse now. I also have means of transportation so it is easier to drive to my friends houses. I have a LOT more freedom. I just keep anticipating how warm and free this summer is going to be. I know I need to buckle down and get focused on school, but summer is just teasing me. At the same time I know this summer will also be better if I loose my winter weight and fit up for summer. So I have a legit reason to skip homework and walk. Yes. Maybe.... Yes.

Things I love about summer:

pool!
no homework!
friends
bonefires
late night culvers!
not looking weird wearing shorts!!
My birthday:)
tan
5 sleepovers in a row
the smell of sunscreen:)
the pretty skys at night
the hotttt weather!
keeping windows open at night feeling the breeze
not having to let my dog outside becuase the door's already open
no obligations
only seeing the people you WANT to see.
summer loves:)
bike rides
just everything is amazing about the summer:)

I NEED SUMMER!!!!!!!!

I got my first job!

So I got a job at Peck's green house. I got it the second week of March. I started work over spring break. I have already gotton my first paycheck. It is really exciting! I wanted a summer job and Peck's will be a good one. I needed a job before I got my lisence. Which I also got:) It was a very progressive spring break.

I do a lot of things. I run the cash register, sort onion bulbs, weigh potatoes and other things that my boss needs. It is really fun working there. I have met a lot of people and everyone is so nice. The t shirts are pink and i love pink. Last night I had a dream that I didn't have any pink clothes so I had to go out and buy some. Tangent. Anyways. Sorting onions and weighing potatoes are my favorite. I think a lot of it is that I am not just standing on my feet at the cash register. It is also a lot of pressure being the cashier. The credit card machine was confusing at first. I have to check ID's. It's not hard countnig back change mentally, but it is pressureful. Now that people are starting to buy trees I have to write warranty papers. I have to fill our gift certificates. Worst of all is when people ask me questions. Compared to my friends, I know a lot about plants. Compared to a LOT of people that I work with, I know nothing. Im not complaining that I have to do theese things, I am just giving reasons on why I like weighing potatoes and sorting onion bulbs more.

I like a lot of the people I work with. Some of them are my friends. Others I am still starting to know. It is a good environment. I got to be the easter bunny for the bunny trail walk. It was kind of fun! lol I love little kids. It was like I was getting paid to be social. It was great! It is just a really fun place to work. Thanks to my friend Anna I got the job, andI a m really happy that I did. :)

Well you see...

Even though this blog is personal now, I never really took that as a sign to start babbling away about my boy problems. Partly because its my buisness and thats something that doen'st concern others who I don't want to know, and the other partly because I did a lot of wrong in the making of those problems.

I have always been the one who knows how to get what i want with other people. I get that that sounds cocky or whatever but its true. I know how to act. I always know what to say in certain situations. But this winter changed that. I had a thing with three people at the same time and they all happened to be bestfriends. Suddenly I didn't know how to act anymore. My feelings and heart and brain were all messed up. I started treating people ways I would never treat them. It was confusing.

But now its all over. All of it. The one guy I should have kept around from the start was the one I hurt the most. I have definately learned my lesson. I now see why players treat people the way they do. They don't want to hurt anybody, they just don't know which one they want to love. Or on the other hand the one they like the most never really liked them that much in the first place. The player got played. And sometimes thats how I felt. It is sad that it's over. but at the same time I am relived and ready to start things over again.

Now this is a really lame poem. Im not publishing it to brag about how awesome at poetry I am. To be honest I don't know why I am putting this on here. I guess I feel like more people can realate to this then just me, reguardless what really happened.

I didn't have much to do

so I took a drive

wind blowing in my hair

radio blaring

I found myself going by the park

where you first held my hand

I saw your truck at the store

where we shared our 1st kiss

I didn't think anything of it at 1st

But then it started playing

the song that was ours

That you'd play when we fought

that was on when you said the words

that changed our lives

The music was intense

the words meant something

It was real! I think to myself

My stomach hurts my heart hurts

tears start to flow

words of regret fill my head

the memories are to strong

It was a mistake

I loved him, I really loved.......

It's over

im back in the driveway

the tears have stopped

the song ended

the song that said the words

the words that we said

that in the end

just like the song

are just memories

of what didn't happen

Brittany!

I met Brittany on the second day of highschool. We met over facebook because she had my dad as a teacher. There was a little drama with us at first but it soon got over and we became really good friends!

We started being goodgood firends spring of 9th grade when we tried out for cheerleading together. we both made wrestling cheerleading. She was the first friend I ever had at my new house. I don't really like having people over. But I did and we were really good friensd.

Then that summer we had cheerleading on like tuesdays or something. Me her and Taylor all hung out together. It was really fun with the three of us. Last summer Brittany was the other person who was a good friend when others wernt. I honestly never will forget that.

Friend like brittany don't ask much of me, but they're the friends that I know I would do the most for. She has never treated me wrong. I know that every single secret I have ever told her will be safe with her. That is really hard to know. She knows what to say and what not to say. There aren't many people like that in the world ever.

She is trying out for cheerleading this year and im not. I want to do it but at the same time I think i just want to keep the memories I have the same. I loved the people I cheered with but I hated the whole cheerleading part of it. I hope Brittany makes it though and has a good time.

Best memories with Brittany:
Pool in summer
Jonas Brother's concert!
Random driving around
popping tire.......
sleepovers going to bed at 12
burger king at like 1030 lol
Hotel at Jonas Brothers concert
Mall
haning out with taylorr
trampoline!
Cheerleading
getting ready for football games
fun fun fun for life:)

When Im fifty I might run into friends that I had when I was in highschool or whatever. And with them I might not know what to talk about. But to Brittany and the other 5 friends ive talked about I know we will be best friensd for life. We are best friends. Best friends means forever.