Well you see...

Even though this blog is personal now, I never really took that as a sign to start babbling away about my boy problems. Partly because its my buisness and thats something that doen'st concern others who I don't want to know, and the other partly because I did a lot of wrong in the making of those problems.

I have always been the one who knows how to get what i want with other people. I get that that sounds cocky or whatever but its true. I know how to act. I always know what to say in certain situations. But this winter changed that. I had a thing with three people at the same time and they all happened to be bestfriends. Suddenly I didn't know how to act anymore. My feelings and heart and brain were all messed up. I started treating people ways I would never treat them. It was confusing.

But now its all over. All of it. The one guy I should have kept around from the start was the one I hurt the most. I have definately learned my lesson. I now see why players treat people the way they do. They don't want to hurt anybody, they just don't know which one they want to love. Or on the other hand the one they like the most never really liked them that much in the first place. The player got played. And sometimes thats how I felt. It is sad that it's over. but at the same time I am relived and ready to start things over again.

Now this is a really lame poem. Im not publishing it to brag about how awesome at poetry I am. To be honest I don't know why I am putting this on here. I guess I feel like more people can realate to this then just me, reguardless what really happened.

I didn't have much to do

so I took a drive

wind blowing in my hair

radio blaring

I found myself going by the park

where you first held my hand

I saw your truck at the store

where we shared our 1st kiss

I didn't think anything of it at 1st

But then it started playing

the song that was ours

That you'd play when we fought

that was on when you said the words

that changed our lives

The music was intense

the words meant something

It was real! I think to myself

My stomach hurts my heart hurts

tears start to flow

words of regret fill my head

the memories are to strong

It was a mistake

I loved him, I really loved.......

It's over

im back in the driveway

the tears have stopped

the song ended

the song that said the words

the words that we said

that in the end

just like the song

are just memories

of what didn't happen